So, where to begin... Well, you all may know me as Danny. I'm a chill dude who likes to do stuff like what other people do, right? Well no. I wasn't like this when I was 8 years old. Most of you that were 8 were like in 4th or 3rd grade, doesn't matter.

When I was 8 years old... I had an illness. It wasn't a big illness either. Like 4% other kids had this sickness and it wasn't a big deal. Infact it was considered "normal" by my parent's standards. Oh how I loved those good 'ol days, who else misses elementary school? Anyways, I had this illness, where I drew cocks. I kid you not, I drew cocks all day long in school. I drew cocks in many forms like in historical moments, the Marines raising the flag over Iwo Jima, Martin Luther King Jr, Emporoer Napoleon, King Henry the third, and even Saddam Huiessen getting hung, now how about that!

I kept it a secret and hid all my penis drawings inside this scooby-doo lunch box I carried around with me, it was my life. Until one day I was working on this MONSTER piece, I'm not joking, it was this HUGE one, right? So a kid walked by and accidently knocked my drawing over, a girl next to me named Rebecca picked it up and looked at it. I knew I was immediantly fucked. She started to freak and flip the fuck out, and then she goes crying to the teacher, and I get sent to the principal's office.

The story doesn't end there, kiddies, they called my parents and found my dick-treasure-chest box full of all my masterpieces, and since my principal was some religious fanatic he thought I was possessed by some sort of dick devil. I was forbid to eat any food shaped like a male penis. Do you know the best cuisines are shaped like a cock? Subways, Hotdogs, Popsicles, Bananas, etc. It really sucked.



So now, here I am telling you my embarrassing childhood. I hoped yours wasn't as fucked up as mine.